So this morning I went to Starbucks to get a cup of the most glorious form of liquid to ever be a real thing and I read this article on Thought Catalog called, “27 Promises to my Best Friend” and it was definitely cute. I liked it, but I decided to write my own, and base it loosely on that article. Only because I loved the idea and it sounded super fun for a little morning proj, but I wanted to make a list that was really true, like so honest. I mean, without the cheesy “I’ll always hold your hair back when you’re throwing up” type stuff. Cause when people are sick, really they’re just like, get the fuck away from me and close the door. But I did keep a few of the same points, like my first one, which I thought was so brilliantly true.
1. I am the greatest version of myself when I am laughing in the passenger’s seat of your car.
This is my favorite type of statement. It’s so simple. That seat’s comfortable as hell cause you can say whatever you want and you laugh so hard there. You order iced coffees at a drive through and take a gander inside the glove compartment to see if there’s some car manual in there, like how there is in yours. You put the windows down or up or talk about the shape of a cloud or a decision that affects your entire future and you fucking try on glasses or something to decide together if they suit you. I don’t know, I just fucking love that spot.
2. I will babysit your future children if I have a job that allows me time for that, but I imagine I may be doing something that takes up a great deal of time, so you may need a babysitter. I’ll help you interview them (if I have time).
3. If you choose not to have children, I will never let you feel that the decision which made you happiest and is right for you, has deemed you any bit inferior, in any way, now or ever.
4. I will continue sending you selfies for help picking an outfit.
5. I’ll continue to tell you really personal shit and I will continue to sometimes do this in sketchy ways. So maybe I’ll be really serious when I’m revealing something really serious. Other times, it’ll be through a text followed by you calling and me not answering, and sometimes I’ll be sitting across from you, leaning back in my seat without so much as a change of tone, as if we’re discussing Pretty Little Liars or whatever.
6. I won’t ever expect a certain, correct reaction or perfectly arranged words from you after anything I say. Promise promise promise.
7. If you get arrested, that would be really fucking weird dude because I feel like we’re way too old for that. But, I’ll bail you out and then expect repayment ASAP, unless I have somehow become really rich by this point, and depending on how much bail would cost me. Also, I’d want to know who you were with and I promise I will never let you hang out with those tacky fuckers ever again.
8. You can continue explaining to me your personal stuff, without ever having to remind me not to tell anyone cause that shit is for seventh graders.
9. Discussing/ googling strange terms at an awkward age is not cute and is not meant for the interwebs, so I won’t write about it, or even bring it up in real life because we don’t want to reminisce about that.
9. I’d die if I saw you post an ambiguous, revengeful facebook status or a cheesy quote on instragram or something.
10. Distance will never matter so (insert really overused but very true sentences about how distance doesn’t matter) and let’s get ready for Friday nights with wine over skype if we’re in the same time zone.
11. I’ll continue to ask you questions and have wonderful conversations about the topics that mean a lot to you, but I will never pretend to be passionate about something just because you are, and I expect the same in return. Let’s continue being genuine regarding the causes that we care about, and never being showy about topics just to please other people, cause I think that’s how we know ourselves so well and I think that’s a big part of why we’re so happy all the time.
12. Usually I’ll come early to your get-togethers.
13. I don’t know what I’d do if you became one of those people who are too proud to ask questions when she has one or too cool to become excited about something that seems like old news to other people. Yes I do, I would die. I’d die. I wouldn’t even know you. Don’t let that happen and I promise I won’t either.
14. I’ll never be preachy or condescending to you because oh my god, there’s maybe nothing worse than that and you’d probably start avoiding me, and that would be TERRIBLE, but still not worse than preachy and condescending.
15. If you were planning on getting a really ugly haircut or something, I’d try to steer you away from the idea in the beginning, but if your heart was still set on it, I’d just be like, fuck it, whatever, yeah go for it, but still knowing that it will look shitty, cause there’s really only so much I’m gonna do in that situation, ya know.
16. You can ask me how your outfits look and I will be honest in the best way. By this I mean that I can tell you when something isn’t working and leave you feeling like a supermodel It’s a gift. I do this all the time, and I’m really good at it. Actually, always ask me how your clothes look because answering that question should be my profession. That is how perfectly I answer. And you can borrow my stuff if you want.
17. I usually won’t ask you to share drinks, because germs.
18. I will borrow your make up as much as possible because mine sucks.
19. I’ll be the person who tries really hard to stop your inevitable negative body talk and together we will try to remember how studies/important people say those conversations are totally bad for us, and we will try to redirect it.
20. When I come over to visit, I’ll secretly hope that you have lots of extra pillows because I sleep with so many, but I won’t be like, devastated, if you don’t.